Our Little Infinity
by MostlyFriendless
Summary: I own nothing from TFIOS, I am just a massive nerdfighter. This is an AU/Alternate Ending HEA
1. Chapter 1

**Our Little Infinity: **

I pick up the phone in the dead of the night on the first ring. _God, not yet. Not now, not now_. I think, wiping my eyes with my free hand.  
"So," it's Augustus. "The most interesting thing just happened to me,"  
"Oh?" I ask. "What's that?"  
"I flat-lined."  
As if it's trying to make up for his heart's inadequacy, my heart starts pounding. "You... did?" is all I can ask. "And you're okay now?"  
"Of course I'm okay. Other than all of the tubes coming out of my body with strangely colored fluids, I'm grand."  
"How did it happen?" I ask.  
"I'm so hurt that you believe that I would call just to talk about myself,"  
"Oh," I laugh a little bit. "I would never."  
"What are you up to?"  
"I just woke up,"  
"I know you didn't have an alarm set,"  
"No, but it was nice to wake up,"  
"And why is that?"  
"I was having the worst dream I've ever had,"  
"And what was it about?"  
"You,"  
"Well, that's kind of offensive without context, Hazel Grace,"  
"I just..." I stammer out.  
"Tell me about it,"  
"I was writing a eulogy, before I even went to bed,"  
"Who did you have to write a eulogy about?"  
"You,"  
"You already wrote my eulogy, though."  
"I was just... trying something out," I feel strangely defensive, like I was doing something wrong.  
"Anyways, what happened next?" he asks.  
"I wrote it down, and then when I went to bed, I was just kind of there."  
"Where?"  
"At your... funeral and not even the funeral you, me, and Isaac did. It was like, a real funeral and I was giving my eulogy and you were just gone..."  
"So, good thing I flat-lined, right? Or I would have just waited until morning to call,"  
"Yes. Good thing," I whisper.  
"Please use the same eulogy," he says softly. "When you do it,"  
There's a lump in my throat when I reply. "Please don't make me give one, just stay here,"  
"Oh, trust me, Hazel, I'm trying."

It's so quiet for a long time that I'm about to break the silence when he does.  
"I keep thinking about the hamster," he admits. "Why didn't Van Houten just tell us about Anna's mom or the Dutch tulip man? Why the hamster?"  
"I think he's just an awful person."  
"Do you still like the book?" Gus asks.  
"Yeah,"  
"Me, too... Wanna know why?"  
"Why?" I ask.  
"Because every time I read it or I think about it, it reminds me of you,"  
"I like it because it makes me think of Amsterdam," I say softly.  
"I think of Amsterdam whenever I think about you,"  
"I think about you whenever I think about Amsterdam,"  
Then it's quiet again.  
"Hazel Grace," he asks.  
"Yeah?"  
"We should get married,"  
I laugh a little bit. "What?"  
"We should get married. Like, once I get out of here."  
I don't hesitate for a second. "Okay,"  
"Okay," he says back. "Okay. I have to go back to sleep or every single nurse in this place will sneak up on me and kill me, they say I'm always up too late as it is,"  
"Okay," I tell him.

**Author's note:  
This fan fiction is AU. Well, not universe, but I don't know what the correct word is when it's not the same ending…  
John Green's book; The Fault in Our Stars is the best book I have ever read. And I like to read a lot. I understand that for the story to happen the way that it did, Augustus had to die. That's the point and I understand and respect that point. But in this fan fiction I am writing, I'm just kind of letting everyone know how I have not come to terms with him not spending forever with Hazel. In this, he will live. This is not because I think that John's story could be told better if he did, this is just because I want to do it this way.  
Okay?  
Okay.  
- Carolyn. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Our Little Infinity: **

Augustus' eyes are trained on me from the second I walk into the too-bright hospital room.  
"Hazel Grace," he laughs. "I didn't expect to see you so early this morning, aren't you supposed to be in school?"  
"Gus Waters," I respond, trying to mimic his confidence but mostly just dissolving into these really obnoxiously loud sobs as soon as I reach the bed.  
"I'm okay, Hazel. It's okay," he's holding onto my hand. "It's okay, I'm okay," he repeats.  
But all I can think is how fundamentally _not_ okay he is. God knows what happened to make his heart flat-line, especially since he didn't want to talk about it on the phone. If he was okay, like he's claiming to be, he wouldn't be in this God-forsaken hospital anyway! He'd be sitting at home trying to die for some hostages in a video game. He'd be reading An Imperial Affliction, and trying to find out if the Dutch Tulip Guy really is God, like I've been. He'd be pretending to smoke and he'd be thinking about existentially fraught free throws. He wouldn't be laying here on a hospital bed trying to stay alive.  
"Hey," he says, pulling me out of my reverie.  
"Hey," I answer.  
"No, I'm being serious. Hey,"  
I don't know how to respond, so I just don't.  
"Don't cry," he says simply, barely even looking at me. I want to turn around and see what he's focusing on for merely a second before I realized what he's trying to do. He's fixing his eyes on something, just so he won't cry, or worse, start yelling. It's impossible to tell which he's doing.  
"Augustus," I say, wiping my eyes with one hand and grabbing his hand with the other. "You scared me," "My apologies, Hazel Grace, I'll try not to do it again," a crooked smile starts on his lips and he finally breaks his staring contest with the wall.  
"Good," my voice breaks.  
"Okay?" he asks.  
"Okay," I nod, taking a deep breath, which kind of sucks because of the lung situation.  
"They said something about putting me on Phalanxifor,"  
"And did you say yes?"  
"Yes,"  
"It works," I say, trying mainly just to keep this conversation going.  
"I said that I wanted to because my girlfriend is on it," he grins. "They didn't understand the sentiment,"  
"Or the metaphor," I say, smiling a real smile.  
"Yes, ah, Hazel, only you can fully enjoy all of the metaphorical implications of this with me! There's absolutely nobody else I would rather use the same pill to cling onto my life with,"  
It's quiet again. "Did you mean it?" I finally ask.  
"What did I mean?"  
"About us getting married,"  
"Oh, yeah,"  
My eyes go around the room awkwardly as I try to figure out what to look at.  
"Is that a problem?" he asks.  
"No," I say quickly. "No, it's not."  
But it kind of is, because osteocarma is highly curable, but mine isn't. He might get out of here before I'm even old enough to get married. I might die before I'm even old enough to get married.  
"You don't have to," he says softly. "If you're afraid, I remember what you said about being a grenade…"  
I don't say anything. That night feels like it is a million years old. Almost like it was a whole infinity ago, in a way.  
"But I want you to know that what I said is still true. It would be an honor to have my heart broken by you, Hazel Grace."  
I take a deep breath. "I don't like to break promises, Augustus,"  
"So what you're saying is…?" he asks.  
"I'm keeping the promise," I smile. I think about the night of the broken trophies and Isaac and how Monica didn't understand the promise of always.  
But, luckily, there's a difference between Monica and I. Because I understand what our promise of okay means. I understand everything that it meant when I said okay last night.  
"Hazel?" he asks.  
"Yeah?" I ask.  
"I don't think Sisyphus actually went to go live with her friend,"  
"Oh…" I think for a second. "Do you think the douche pants just made it up?"  
"Pretty much," he thinks for a second. "I just kind of feel like he wanted to give us a taste of what could have been our wish,"  
"The wish was still perfect,"  
"It could have been more perfect."  
"It couldn't have," I shake my head. "Not at all, literally, it couldn't have been better," I argue.  
"Hazel Grace, you just used the word literally wrong,"  
"I didn't,"  
"Yes you did. It could have been better, Hazel, because if we were healthy, or Van Houten had told us…"  
"No! If we were both healthy, we wouldn't be able to go." I argue.  
"If we were both healthy, we would have been able to go sooner,"  
"If we had the money."  
"That doesn't matter."  
"If we were both healthy," I say softly. "We wouldn't have met each other."  
That shuts him up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Our Little Infinity: **

"So, I think I'm over Monica," Isaac says simply when we finish our game.  
Blind guy video games don't leave much room for conversation.  
"Is that so?" I ask.  
"Yeah, totally," he grins.  
"That's awesome, really?" I ask again.  
"No."  
"Oh," I laugh.  
"I mean, it's like I said, I have the full time job of Learning How to Be Blind, but… I think it would be easier if she would actually try to help me."  
"She shouldn't have done what she did," I say.  
"Yeah,"  
"Hey, I know this girl…" I say.  
"Who do you know?" he asks.  
"I don't think you'd know her, but anyways… She used to be my friend and I was just wondering…"  
"Are you trying to set me up with one of your friends?" he laughs.  
"Maybe,"  
"You know that if she's awful, I'm never going to let you live that down, right?"  
"Yeah. It's crossed my mind."  
"What's her name?" he grins.  
"Kaitlyn,"  
"Is she cute?"  
"I guess."  
"Smart?" he questions.  
"Enough,"  
"Nice to sick people?" he asks after a little while.  
"Yes,"  
"Does she have cancer?"  
"No,"  
"Heart disease?"  
"No,"  
"Is she sick?"  
"No."  
"You've pretty much just described my dream girl."  
I laugh. "She's single, too."  
"Even better, what's her number?"  
I give him her number.  
"One more question," he says as I stand up to leave.  
"What would that be?" I ask.  
"Does she know I'm blind?"  
"Yeah,"  
"So you talk about me to your girlfriends?" he asks.  
"More like I talk about Augustus and she asks if he has any friends."  
"And you say that he has a hot blind one?" he laughs.  
I grin. "Something like that."  
**  
Author's note:  
What do you guys think? I know it's super short. I'll have another one up shortly, I just wanted to try something out with Isaac and Kaitlyn, who truthfully I only put together because I don't like adding original characters to fanfic because it gets confusing and as of the end of the book, Kaitlyn was single, so you know.  
Please review, I won't get mad over constructive criticism, I promise.  
Okay?  
Okay.  
- Carolyn**


	4. Chapter 4

"So you got Isaac a girlfriend," Augustus says by way of hello.  
"You might say that," I laugh, readjusting the phone.  
"Well," he draws out the word. "That was nice of you,"  
"I don't-"  
"You know, a lot of people wouldn't have done anything. That's something I like about you, other than the obvious reasons."  
"Thanks, but-"  
"You saw how pathetic Isaac's life has been and you just wanted to help fix it, I'm getting in the car,"  
"What?"  
"I'm coming home, anyways," he continues.  
"No!" I laugh. "There is no anyways! You're coming home?"  
"I didn't think that's what we were talking about; I thought we were talking about Isaac. My bad,"  
"We were talking about Isaac, now we're talking about you coming home and not telling me!"  
"Well can we talk about Isaac again for a minute?" he asks.  
"No," I laugh. "You're coming home! What happened?"  
"I don't know. What happens any time you come home,"  
"Wait, wait," I say, my heart sinking. "Is it a Quality-Of-Life-Go-Home or a You-re-Okay-Go-Home?"  
He laughs. "I'm okay, Hazel Grace."  
I feel the tears welling up in my eyes. "You're okay, you're okay… Oh my God," I laugh.  
"What?" he asks.  
"We're getting married. We're getting married, Gus!"  
He laughs. "Patience, young grasshopper," he quotes me from the day we met. "You don't want to seem overeager."


	5. Chapter 5

I sit on my couch clutching welcome home balloons my parents had insisted I buy. They are the shiny kind, the ones you can get for a dollar a piece at almost any given store. I tried to tell my mother that no, he would hate them, but she wouldn't let me do without. The cake is on the coffee table, along with perfectly wrapped gifts (The new Price of Dawn game and the next two books, they let me pick the gifts, just not the balloons.) I know he's at his house, or maybe even in the car on the way over here. It drives me crazy that he's out of the hospital and I couldn't have just met him at his house.  
My mother is all about letting someone have time before they see people they don't need to see, though, and she refused to let me pick him up.  
"Are you excited?" Mom asks, straightening out the gift display.  
"Yeah," I say, a lump appearing in my throat. "I am,"  
In all honesty, I'm kind of petrified. Not about seeing Gus because I know that will all be great, but we can't really be together in front of our parents without telling them that we're engaged. It would be lying, even if just by omission.  
There are three short knocks at the door and I try to stand up but by the time I'm done fumbling with everything, my mother is already at the door. She pulls the door open, but she's standing right in front of him so I can't see him at all, just his parents.  
"Gus, hi,"  
"Hello Mrs. Lancaster," he smiles.  
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Waters," I say politely, trying not to edge between my mother and the door but desperately wanting to. I tighten my grip on the balloons in my hand.  
"Hello Hazel," his mother says.  
"May we come in?" his dad asks.  
"Sure, sure," my mother laughs. "Sorry, I was being rude. Oh! Hazel, I take it you want to see Augustus, don't let me stop you," she steps out of the way, both letting them in and finally letting me see him.  
"Gus," I say, grinning.  
His blue eyes crinkle up when he smiles. "Hazel Grace,"  
I push the balloons in his direction. "These are for you. They were, uh, my mother's idea."  
He smiles and takes them. "Thanks,"  
We stand there for only a second until I run over to him and hug him tightly. "I've missed you," I admit, my voice broken. "I've missed you a lot,"  
"You saw me in the hospital," he laughs a little bit. "But the lighting is better here, I agree."  
"Quite a bit," I agree.  
"I missed you, too," he smiles. "I missed you a lot,"  
"You two are just so cute together," Gus' mother smiles at us. "You're like a little couple on a wedding cake… I wonder if when you guys…" she catches herself. I look up at him.  
"You told your parents,"  
"Well, yes,"  
"Gus!"  
"To be fair, I told yours, too."  
"What?" I ask. "What did they say?"  
"Well they said yes, I really turned up the charm."  
"You didn't tell me,"  
"Of course not, you never tell the future bride when you get permission to ask for her hand in marriage."  
"So," I smile. "We're really engaged,"  
"Well," he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ring box. "I would get down on one knee but I only really have the one…"  
I smile at him. "You're excused,"  
"So…" he clears his throat. "Hazel Grace, I know you're young now and everything, but I want to marry you and-"  
"Yes," I smile. "Yes, of course yes."


	6. Chapter 6

I lay on my back, looking up at the stars.  
"Hazel Grace," he says, lying down next to me. "Fancy meeting you here at this planned location at a time we already specified."  
I smile. "You're late,"  
"I had to get some testing done and it ran late," he explains, shrugging.  
"And…?" I ask.  
"You should know by now that I'm not the only one I want to talk about," he smiles.  
"Augustus," I say.  
"I'm fine," he laughs. "I'm still just fine,"  
"Why didn't you tell me you had an appointment?" I ask. "We could have rescheduled."  
"I don't list rescheduling things with you,"  
I feel my cheeks get hot and I'm thankful for the dark.  
"So is the Phalanxifor working?" I ask.  
"Miraculously,"  
"No more risk?" I ask.  
"None that they can see."  
"Huzzah," I whisper.  
It's quiet. I know this technique. You don't talk unless you're spoken to. It's a great conversation killer. I've used it a lot in the past. I thought I came up with it.  
"Sorry I keep on pestering you with questions. I'm just worried about you,"  
"Hazel Grace," he says, propping himself up on his elbow. "You could never be a pest,"  
"No, it's okay," I say. "I know, I understand, they used to ask me a lot of questions. They still do, everybody does, and I know how frustrating it is. I'm sorry. I just…"  
"What?" he asks.  
"I don't want you to try to protect me again. Like with Amsterdam," I sound young. I clear my throat. We haven't really brought it up, his lie of omission; it doesn't make me angry, though. It just makes me afraid that he would do it again.  
It's quiet. I'm afraid I said something wrong. "Gus?" I ask.  
"I'm here, I'm just thinking." He says as he lies back down onto the blanket I have laid out.  
"It's nothing, it's nothing, let's just forget about it, we haven't had a date since the welcome home party… I didn't mean to ruin it."  
"No, you didn't ruin it," he says, his voice is slow, like he's thinking.  
"Come on," I say. "Let's just go home if this will be awkward."  
"I'm not uncomfortable," he says, he still sounds distracted, though.  
"I am," I say, standing up. "Come on, get up, I need to fold the blanket."  
"I don't know how to say it," he finally admits.  
"What?" I ask. "What don't you know how to say?"  
"Well, don't just leave, come back, I've missed you."  
I nod and lay down next to him. "What is it?"  
"What I did about Amsterdam was wrong." he says. "And I'm sorry, I should have told you but I thought that if I ignored it… I guess I thought it would go away. I'm so sorry."  
"I'm not angry," I tell him honestly, resting my head on his chest. "I haven't ever been angry about that."  
"Just hurt," he says, sighing.  
"No," I say. "Not really, I understand what happened, I just… I shouldn't have brought it up," I go to stand up again but his arms pull me back down.  
"We can't do that,"  
"What?" I ask. "What can't we do?"  
"We can't just… run away when things get hard. It's not what married people do,"  
"I know but-"  
"Hazel," he says. "I want to let go because I'm going to grab one of my cigarettes, but I'm afraid you'll leave. Do you understand how hard that is for me?"  
I laugh. "Come on, just let me go."  
"Promise you won't leave?" he asks.  
I look at my oxygen tank beside us. "No, I like it here."  
He lets go and sits up before he even gets the package out. He pulls one out and offers the other to me. I laugh but take one and set it in my mouth. I don't really get the appeal, but I don't tell him this.  
His arms wrap around me again, not constraining as much as affectionate.  
I don't have to look at him to picture the cigarette in his mouth while he speaks. "So the reason I don't want to talk about my cancer is because it's boring."  
I laugh. "Nothing about you is boring, Augustus,"  
"It is though, because it's all the same. I have to get tests and they'll tell me what I already know and that I need to come in again. It's not interesting, and it's not important."  
"You should know me well enough by now to know that I don't care if you think it's interesting, if it's about you, it is interesting to me."  
Then it's quiet, and when he speaks again it's slow, calculated. "I love you so much,"  
"Gus, I-"  
"So much," he repeats. He puts his cigarette back and I hand him mine while he has it out.  
"Price of Dawn championship round?" I ask.  
He laughs and stands up, helping me behind him.  
"My house or yours?" he asks.  
"You have the wireless controllers." I remind him.  
He laughs and folds up the blanket. "My place it is,"


	7. Chapter 7

"OH. MY. LORD!" Kaitlyn squeals into the phone. I hold it away from my ear until she's done. Gus sees this and snickers, but keeps quiet from his spot against the wall.  
"What?" I ask. "And can you maybe keep it down to foghorn level?"  
She laughs. "So I've been out with Isaac a lot," she hasn't brought it down at all.  
"Yeah?"  
"And he asked me to be his girlfriend."  
"That's a big step. So you like him?" I ask.  
"He is… Hazel, you have truly outdone yourself. Do you remember what I said to you about Augustus when you told me you liked him?"  
"Yeah," I say, my cheeks burning when he looks up and raises his eyebrows, grinning.  
"So that times twelve. And it's like I don't even have to dress up for him, darling, it's truly fantastic."  
I hold in my laugh, but Gus doesn't.  
"Who's with you?" she asks.  
"Um…Gus,"  
"Well, I have a date tonight, so I had better get ready, but it was s nice of you to set us up, darling, goodbye."  
As soon as she clicks off, Gus laughs again, louder than when she was on the phone. "What, exactly did Kaitlyn have to say about me when you went to her saying you liked me?"  
"Oh, nothing,"  
"Hazel," he says, his eyebrows raised again. "Come on, just tell me. Oh, and what did you tell her about me when you said you liked me?"  
I look away.  
"Hazel Grace,"  
"Gus Waters,"  
"No, I'm being serious,"  
"She may have said that she saw you at parties and that she would ride that one legged pony all the way around the corral, not once she knew I was interested but still… Her words not mine, you being the one legged pony."  
He grins. "I don't know if I should be flattered or terrified."  
I shrug. "What are you working on?"  
"No, no, you're not off the hook," he says, grinning. "What did you say to her?"  
"She was hounding me about if I liked anyone; I said I did and that she wouldn't know him, she pumped me for information, I let the whole '1.5 legs' thing slip and she knew."  
He laughs.  
"It's not like I make you tell me about conversations you had about me with Isaac," I say, crossing my arms.  
"Because you wouldn't have to make me," he says, standing up unsteadily. "I'd just tell you,"  
"Isaac doesn't refer to you as a one legged pony, at least, I hope he doesn't."  
"Well there was that one time," he laughs. "But other than that, no, not really,"


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note:  
This is the final chapter of Our Little Infinity. It has been a lot of fun to write, and I'm nowhere near done playing with this universe but to be honest I'm working on another one I like more and I might just replace this one with it but I might not, it'll be a lot like OLI, though.  
Okay…. Here goes nothing. And yes, it is ridiculously short but I had to end it this way.**

The small gathering is quiet. Weddings are less packed than funerals, if you're wondering.  
"Do you, Augustus Waters, take Hazel Grace Lancaster for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?"  
"Okay," he smiles at me. "Okay?"  
I smile. "Okay,"  
"Do you, Hazel Grace Lancaster, take Augustus Waters for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?"  
I don't look at the pastor, but at Augustus when I say it.  
"I do. Augustus, I do."


End file.
